I Went Down, Down, Down (the Flames Went Higher)
by northpeach
Summary: Ichigo coughed as blood slid past his lips. He shouldn't have let his guard down, just because Ginjo and Xcution was dealt with. The Dangai was always dangerous. He shouldn't have forgotten that. A brush of reiatsu. Ichigo pried his eyes open, catching a glimpse of a familiar face. "Jii-san." Yamamoto Genryuusai placed a gentle hand on his face. Ichigo leaned into it, eyes closing.
1. Chapter 1

" _/I am not actually your zanpakuto./" -_ Zanpakuto talking outside.

 _:But I'm still a better father than Isshin.: -_ Zanpakuto talking inside.

* * *

It was still dark when Ichigo returned home, his sisters in his arms. He said brief goodbyes to his friends, told them to go home and sleep. We'll catch up tomorrow, he said. Ichigo goes through all the motions automatically. Wake the girls briefly to change into pajamas, soothe their confused and panicked reactions and tuck them all beneath the covers. He brushes a kiss over their foreheads and heads to his own room.

The moon is shining through his window. The world lives again. His vision grays out and sounds fades until all he hears is the faint ringing of bells.

Ichigo is sitting on his bedroom floor, shaking uncontrollably at the familiar soothing voice of Old Man Zangetsu echoing in the no longer empty abyss of his soul. His eyes were wet and with a flare of reiatsu he had given up hope would ever be returned ( _it_ was _though, it_ was) the Old Man manifested by his side in a rustle of constantly shifting fabric. The noise he made wasn't quite a sob, more of a sound of overwhelming relief as thin arms wrapped about his shoulders and drew him into Zangetsu's darkly red cloak.

"/ _Ichigo./"_

His hands were fisted in the flowing material, his face buried in the hollow of the Old Man's shoulder and he could do nothing but tremble and gasp for breath, unable to even voice the complicated surges of emotion he felt.

After a moment or two, of Zangetsu holding onto him just as tightly as he was, Ichigo managed to speak around the lump in his throat.

"I'm _sorry._ Zangetsu, _I'm so sorry._ " His voice was hoarse and faint, but apparently loud enough for his zanpakuto to hear.

The arms around him clenched briefly, before a hand slid into his hair and lightly tugged. Ichigo resisted for a moment, drawing a deep breath, before lifting his gaze to meet the equally wet eyes of Zangetsu.

"/ _All I wanted, Ichigo, was to protect you,/"_ the old man says like it _hurts_ , as amber eyes slide shut and the zanpakuto leans forward to rest his forehead against his wielder. " _/I failed you, Ichigo, I_ failed _to_ protect you. _/"._

Ichigo tries to _say_ something, anything along the lines of ' _my choice, my decision'_ but the words won't come even as more tears slip over his cheeks. Zangetsu is crying, silently and with barely a hitch in his breath, but he's crying all the same. Emotion bleeds into the air, saturated by his newly restored reiatsu. He can _feel-_

It's too much. It's all too much. It's as if someone is exerting an enormous amount of reiatsu around him because it's getting harder to breath. All of this- _it's too much._

Zangetsu pulls him as close as he physically can get, half crouched over him as if to physically shield his wielder from anything that would threaten him, even as the sounds of wheezing breaths fill the room. Ichigo is pressed farther into the warmth that is provided, into the comfort that the old man provides without hesitation. His thoughts run in circles, the crimson of blood, the blue of the blade that skewered his chest, the green of a Fullbringer's power- memories front and center in his mind.

Seventeen months in which goat-face ignored every hint of something other than their normal lives, normal routine. Seventeen months in which his friends altered between sticking close, making sure he wasn't alone, and disappearing for weeks on end only to slowly return to his side. Seventeen months in which not a _single Shinigami_ could find a _simple gigai_ to drop by _for a visit._ Not Urahara-san, not Rukia, Renji- _no one._

Then suddenly, there's Ginjo and Xcution and things were happening again and _Ishida- Uryuu was cut down_ and Ichigo _couldn't do anything._ He should have _seen it._ He should have _known_. It was all a trap, for someone else to take one more thing from him and then-

And then-

Tsukishima.

The manipulation of almost everyone's memories. Chad. Tatsuki. Orihime, _Yuzu, Karin._ And then the sword in his chest and goat-face and Urahara-san standing by. Getaboushi wouldn't meet his eyes. He recognized the guilt on his face, in the way he stood and how his hat cast shadows over his eyes.

Goat-face had stared at him, expression as serious as it had been that fateful day. He was clad in a shihakusho, _Shinigami_ , like he had any right to be there, like he _belonged there_. Another betrayal, more lies, omissions and secrets no one thinks _necessary_ to share.

That's when something within him breaks, quietly and so easily it barely registers as something else that hurts among all the other betrayals. At that point he might not have even _cared._

But then the air shimmered, from nothingness into familiar violet eyes, a mess of dark hair framing a pale, gently smiling face. His heart stuttered in his chest even as Rukia speaks and the world lights up around him. Colors had bled back into his world and already Zangetsu was as he was- a strong, steady _thrum_ of _presence,_ whispering of _pride, relief_ , _joy, Ichigo,_ _ **Ichigo**_ filling the corners of his soul once more.

It ended as it always did. Some came, all left, and even Urahara only lingered momentarily before he vanished into the darkness. It's easily to remind himself, in the midst of everything, to see Urahara-san as soon as he can. Getaboushi might play the fool well enough, but Ichigo knows exactly how that man wears guilt. There was familiarity between them- Isshin and Urahara-san. More of goat-face's secrets that he hasn't bothered to tell.

Ichigo knows damn well most of those secrets, if not _all_ , are about _him_ , concerning _him_. But then, he doesn't expect much. Goat-face was the type to pretend nothing was wrong rather than admit danger was coming and information needed to be shared so his _children_ didn't all _die._

( _Like Mom, like Orihime's brother, like the Hollow that began all of this, like everything that almost killed Yuzu and Karin-)_

He's never asked if the reasons why his friends oscillate between _there_ and _not there_ is because goat-face tells them to stay away. He knows they don't know what to do, knows that when Uryuu lost his powers, the Quincy basically vanished until he regained them. But Ichigo doesn't vanish. He stays. The desk stays _his,_ he doesn't move. Chad is behind him, Orihime to his right and Uryuu sits in front. But some days, it's as if there's something that stands in between all of them.

It hurts, but he endures it because he knows that Ishida goes out of his way just to pass by his house for absolutely no reason other than to see all is well. Chad will move into his shadow and _stay_ , sometimes carefully discussing the recent Hollows that appear and how Soul Society is keeping their distance. Orihime will blow into his personal space, Tatsuki on her steps, a cheerful whirlwind, shoving a bento in his hands and chatting a mile a minute. Keigo is much the same, Mizuiro a calming presence and ever present smile.

It's the little things that he holds on to, these bits of Uryuu, of Chad, Orihime and Tatsuki, of Mizuiro and Keigo that show that they still care. If he needs them, he knows they'll _be there._ He's never doubted that. If he really needed it, if he _asked_ , he knew there would be a lot of people lining up to do _anything._

The Old Man came without being asked. He always did.

( _-he didn't know where his Hollow was. There was no answer to his calls.)_

Eventually, the tension seeps out of his frame and Ichigo's eyes began to flutter. He's exhausted. Zangetsu is a warm and steady presence and he can feel his sister's in their rooms just across the hall. Goat-face isn't in the house and Ichigo doesn't care to exert the effort it would take to search for him. It's not like he familiar with the man's reiatsu anyway.

A deep breath, a slow exhale and as the Old Man's arms loosen their grip, Ichigo looks up into eyes that, for once, aren't obscured by sunglasses. His mouth opens, but once again the words stick in his throat. Zangetsu shifts, and he cannot help the instinctual tightening of his grap on his spirit's body. But then, the comforter is tugged off his bed and tucked around their bodies and his zanpakuto is leaning back to settle into a more sleep friendly position.

" _/Do not worry, Ichigo. I will stay. Sleep./"_

He stares for a moment longer. Slowly, he tucks his head in the hollow of Zangetsu's shoulder and the Old Man spreads and layers his reiatsu into the space they occupy. A breath, two, three-

Sleeps comes far more easily that it has in a long, long time.

* * *

When Ichigo wakes, Zangetsu was still there and goat-face's reiatsu is still absent. But his sisters are up and moving, so he uncurls from Zangetsu's embrace and gets to his feet. His body shifts and stretches, working out the kinks from sore muscles as Zangetsu gathers himself and stands. There's a moment of silence before the Old Man's lips quirk.

" _/You've grown taller, Ichigo./"_

The very visible pride and affection in the Old Man's gaze made his cheeks burn and a flare of pleasure curl in his chest. Still, he smiles and lets his own feelings color his tone.

"Do you think I'll be as tall as you someday, Old Man?"

" _/Perhaps./"_

In a swirl of reds and blacks, Zangetsu returned to Ichigo's inner world and he left his room to greet his sisters. Goat-face would probably be out for some time yet, hopefully. Then, he could go visit his friends. He could feel their reiatsu, excitement and happiness fluttering on his senses and that in turn brought an easy smile to his face.

He had no idea how much emotion, meaning and depth he projected and gleaned from other's reiatsu until he faded away bit by bit. Judging by the odd expressions his friends made during their hovering phases, they were just unaware of such a thing before it smacked them in their faces. Kami-sama knows all of them were basically self taught. What few things they learned from others, didn't go into depth about their powers.

Ichigo had only trained with Getaboushi for ten days after all. There was very little talking during that, mostly it consisted of Ichigo fighting for his life. His time with Yoruichi was even shorter, at only three days.

Regardless, as he sat down to eat breakfast with his sisters, he couldn't help the small but genuine smile that lifted his lips. Karin and Yuzu definitely noticed his lightened mood as the latter beamed back and even the former smirked in satisfaction at how much better their Ichi-nii looked. The events of yesterday were more like a bad dream than anything else.

When he finished, there was a swirl of familiar Hollow-tinged reiatsu just outside the front door. He hurried to put his dishes away, pausing long enough to drop a hand on both Yuzu and Karin's heads and was quickly out the door, calling out behind him, " _Itterasshai!"_

Chad stood on the street, a smile on his face as Ichigo came out to meet him, his own reiatsu rising to acknowledge the way Sado's curled brushes against his own presence. They set out towards Karakura High.

Everyone was waiting for him.

* * *

Beyond the walk to school, in which both Ichigo and Chad were perfectly fine communicating only through reiatsu, there wasn't any time to spent with anyone. They all sat through class, somehow managing to keep most of their attention on the teacher. Even if Orihime turned to randomly beam at everyone every time she felt a spike or a flutter in Ichigo's reiatsu.

When lunch rolled around, everyone in their in-the-know group headed straight for the roof. There was a tense silence hanging over them. The events of last night were still fresh in their minds and everyone seemed reluctant to break the tension. The past seventeen months were hard on all of them. Tsukishima screwing with all their memories and the apparent betrayal of his friends and family had stressed and almost broken the bonds between them, but even though things weren't quite back to normal, Ichigo still revealed in the presence of Uryuu, of Orihime, Chad, Tatsuki and of Keigo and Mizuiro.

He heaved a sigh and and reach a hand up to the back of his head.

"Honestly, you guys, if you have a problem, you can at least _say it-_ "

" _No!"_

Ichigo stumbled back, eyes wide at the shout from everyone. He glanced at his side. Chad hadn't spoken, but there was something like shame on his face. He switched his gaze back. Uryuu was pushing up his glasses and drawing back into himself while Orihime's eyes dropped to the ground. Tatsuki was wavering between anger and some other emotion Ichigo didn't want to even touch.

There was something like shame and regret in all their faces.

Ichigo's face softened and his tone was quiet.

"You guys, it's not your fault-"

"How can you _say that?_ "

Ishida burst out, frustration and anger in his voice. He took a sharp step forward, gesturing violently towards nothing in particular.

"Ishida-kun," Orihime stepped forward, hand lifting, before she dropped it. There was a terrible, solemn understanding in her expression that said she shared his feelings.

"They manipulated you to fight for them! Then and now! They were monitoring you, making sure you were kept in line and when you did your best and solving _their_ problems and fixed _their_ messes and _gave up your reiatsu_ , they threw you away!"

Chad raised his arm, speaking loudly enough to be hear clearly, even if it was only a quick warning.

"Ishida-"

The Quincy slashed his hand through the air.

" _No_ , it was _all of us!_ Kurosaki-sensei told us to stay away, to give Kurosaki _space_ and we did and whenever we decided that enough was enough, we tried to fix back in and he always came back to tell us again, to _stay away from Ichigo._ All of us saw he was miserable! Yet, _why did we listen to him?!"_

Ichigo grit his teeth. He suspected goat-face had something to do with his friend's weird behavior. He didn't have any proof, just a suspicion and to hear it _confirmed._ What right did goat-face even have to insert himself into situations where he was neither wanted nor needed?

Ishida was still speaking though.

"Urahara-san, the Visored, _Shinigami!_ Everyone stayed away! You-"

"Ishida, enough."

Uryuu's breath stuttered, at Ichigo's calm interruption. He made a distinctly irritated noise and pushed up his glasses.

"He's right, Kurosaki-kun," Orihime interjected, her troubled gaze rising to meet Ichigo's eyes. "I ran into Kurosaki-sensei at the grocery store a couple days before your reitastu completely disappeared. He told me not to bother you with Hollows, or Shinigami or the like after- after. He insisted that you needed space to come to terms and let things go so I shouldn't…"

Her voice trailed off as Ichigo's face grew dark. Brown eyes slid over to Sado, Tatsuki, Keigo and Mizuiro.

"Did all of you mysteriously run into goat-face and get the same speech?"

There were affirmations from all those gathered and Ichigo scowled.

"That bastard had no right to interfere," he bit out viciously, "Honestly, who does he think he is?"

"To be honest, we all saw him as a Shinigami so we figured he was like you. That he lost his powers and that he really did know best and he was trying to help," Tatsuki explained, before she brought up her fists. "If I had known differently, I would have broken his jaw. Sorry."

Chad made a sound of agreement, the noise rumbling in his chest.

Ichigo sighed, his posture loosening.

"It doesn't matter now. It's in the past. Remember to ask me things concerning me, next time."

"I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun."

"It's as Inoue-san says. We made a mistake we won't be repeating, Kurosaki."

Ichigo huffed, an amused smirk chasing away the last of the darkness on his features.

"Can we sit down and eat lunch now? I forgot how much more you had to eat when you used reiatsu."

The atmosphere settled into something light and happy with such a discussion now over and done with. Conversation shifted into areas they were more comfortable with, such as their past adventures, any interesting Hollows and how Ichigo's reiatsu was still leaking all over the place. Orihime proudly proclaimed her abilities had greatly improved, as both Ishida and Chad confirmed the same. There was an ease in their interactions that had been missing for the past seventeen months. In the middle of coaxing a smile out of Uryuu, Ichigo paused as a familiar presence brushed up against the edges of his senses. Noticing the stutter in his motions, Chad tilted his head over in curiosity.

"Ichigo?"

"Ah. Nothing."

Ichigo gazed out into the distance, as the wind ruffled his hair.

"I just remembered I needed to talk with Getaboushi about something."

 _And jii-san too._


	2. Chapter 2

There was only a single Hollow attack, one that occurred five minutes after classes let out. Ichigo found himself running through the halls, as they parted from Tatsuki, Mizuiro and Keigo, with Chad, Ishida and Inoue by his side as they headed out to deal with it. They had already made plans with the others of their group to meet up after school and thus there was no need for them to linger. Inoue easily offered her home to them and Tatsuki volunteered to bring food with Mizuiro speaking up to tease that he would surely bring something special to celebrate.

Once they encountered the Hollow, Ichigo paused, his fingers curling around his combat pass. He needed to talk with- well, there were several people he needed to speak to. He forcibly returned his attention to the present, just in time to see the Hollow step in front of them. Ishida and Chad only slid to a stop, neither made a motion. Ichigo paused as well, watching as Orihime took a step forward and struck down the corrupted soul, entirely on her own with a single call of - "Koten Zanshun!"- and disintegrated the Hollow in a shower of golden light.

Ichigo turned to look at her as her fairies returned to her hairpin. There was no hesitation in that strike, nothing but a resolve to a swift end. She looked strong. Confident and sure of herself in a way he had only rarely seen. He felt the lines on his face ease as a smile tugged his lips upwards. Orihime turned, her eyes widening as she caught sight of him.

"Inoue, you've really gotten stronger," Ichigo said, affection lining his tone as he basked in the combined reiatsu of his comrades.

Even if, in the darkened corners of his heart, a voice whispered- they're only like this because of you- he ignored it. Because they made their own choices and Ichigo respected that. He wanted to get stronger to protect those he cared about and his friends had reasons of their own. Their power was sleeping and when they needed it, they called.

"Orihime!"

Ichigo startled, thoughts scattering and smile slipping from his face as he stared at her as red infused her cheeks and Orihime quickly waved her hands, as if to reassure him of something. She made a noise, half frustration and half exasperation.

"We- all of us have been through a lot together, Kuro- Ichigo-kun," Orihime said, voice soft and eyes dark with memories. "We've all suffered, fought and endured mostly by each other's sides, so- so call me Orihime."

In a whirl of bright auburn hair, Inoue spun on the balls of her feet, leveling an intent gaze as both Ishida and Chad.

"You two as well. You've both saved my life, you both came to rescue me. You suffered for me, and I for you. So call me by my name."

Orihime turned back to face Ichigo, still standing with surprise painted on his face, before he nodded at the sight of her determination and resolve. A brilliant smile spread over her face.

"Orihime," he said decisively.

The happiness that lit her face made something in his chest ease. The past fifteen months of nightmares and problems that arose from their battles had lingered over all their heads. It felt like it was finally over, that everything was going to be back to normal in a way that it had never really managed to before. When Ichigo lacked his reiatsu.

He couldn't help the amusement that lead to him turning on his heel and beginning to walk away, not even pausing as he tossed over his shoulder-

"Yo, Uryuu, Chad, let's get going"

Ishida's sharp inhalation was audible, as was the startled flare of his reiatsu, but Ichigo shifted his head to lock gazes with the Quincy, and the other faltered at the look in his eyes.

"Uryuu," Ichigo repeated, exasperation, gratitude and fondness clear in his tone.

Ishida looked away, a blush staining his cheeks, swiftly pushing up his glasses, but even as Orihime giggled and Ichigo stepped forward, they all fell into familiar positions by his side. He caught Chad's barely there smile, felt the way all of their presences curled around them, together.

He didn't press when Uryuu didn't say anything more. Not 'Ichigo' but neither his usual 'Kurosaki'. He wasn't bothered. It was implied right now, but if the Quincy needed clarification, a verbal request, then Ichigo wouldn't hesitate to give him one.

Nearly two years since they had been together as a group. Ichigo could wait a bit longer for the last of Uryuu's walls to crumble.

As Ichigo turned his feet towards Inoue's house, where he could already feel Tatsuki, Mizuiro and Keigo, he revealed in the affectionate look on Chad's face, the brilliance of Orihime's beaming smile and the way Uryuu's reiatsu curled around all of them, flickering with quiet joy.

He would not lose them so easily, not to their own well meaning intentions, not to manipulation from people who thought they had any say in his life, nor to those who would tear them apart for their ignorance and prejudice.

As the sun sunk lower into the horizon, Ichigo was perfectly content to harass everyone into staying the night at Orihime's, the seven of them sprawling on her living room floor with blankets, and pillows. He lay in their healer's tiny apartment, surrounded by the peacefully sleeping presences of his comrades and felt tears well in his eyes. It felt as though he could properly breathe after so many long months of half breaths and the emptiness that followed him every waking second.

Even though he slept deeper then he had managed to in some time, he still woke, alert and tense, ready to spring up at a moment's notice, when a sound pulled him into the waking world. Stifled cries, sharp intakes and small pained noises that marked the nightmares that disturbed the tranquility and calm.

It didn't take much to quiet the subconscious fears and memories dripping with blood and ringing with screams, as the instant someone woke and registered the feel of those around them, they slipped back into sleep, reassured within seconds.

Ichigo was often reminded of in the months after losing his spiritual powers, how he ghosted in and out of his sisters' room, silently patrolling the house and unable to sleep because it felt as if all his senses were muffled. On the worst nights, he would catch a glimpse of green from the corner of his eye. Or even the flash of a cat's reflective eyes. Not to mention the times he caught any number of his friends passing by his house in the wee hours of the morning. The times he couldn't stand it anymore and went wandering the streets himself, just to make sure his friends were still alive.

Regardless of whatever the hell Goat-face did, Ichigo knew that Urahara-san felt responsible for him and that man wouldn't hesitate to keep some kind of eye on him and his friends. Even though there were moments, now that his reiatsu had returned, that he could feel Urahara's presence, most of the times it quickly faded.

He sighed quietly to himself in the dark, Old Man Zangetsu a silently comforting presence in his soul once more.

He would talk to Urahara tomorrow, definitely.

But for now, Ichigo would sleep.

* * *

In the darkness of Ichigo's newly restored soul, golden eyes burned with rage and pale lips pulled back in a snarl. Not a sound was made even as dark eyes looked on, a complicated and unidentified storm of emotion swirling in their depths, even as they looked on in seeming apathy.

* * *

Geta clacked from a rooftop across the street and green fabric rustled in the cool night wind.

Kisuke took a step back, tugging his hat down, gripping his cane even as he only lingered a moment before taking another step away. He repeated the motion until he came to the edge and scarcely hesitated before he leapt off, vanishing into the moonless night.

In the place he vanished from, a male voice spoke quietly and with some regret.

"Even with this, he cannot let go of his guilt."

Amber eyes glinted and glanced over at the darkened apartment.

Inside, seven teenagers with scars and nightmares more fitting to those twice their age slept peacefully for perhaps some time.

Another sigh before a feline shape melts into the shadows and the night is still once more.

* * *

Early in the morning, sometime after he wakes and declares his intent to go see Urahara, Ichigo heads off to have a conversation that was long overdue. He left his body neatly tucked in on Orihime's couch and departed in his soul form. Clad in familiar black shihakusho, even if there are changes, such as the neck guard, the dark bands that mimic tattoos on his body, Ichigo cannot help but feel confident as his reiatsu thrums through his body and saturates the air around him. He is whole once more and no longer will he sit on the sidelines and idly let others force their own will, their opinions onto him. He will be helpless no longer.

Kami knows, that idiot is the first one he goes to after Uryuu, Chad, Orihime, Tatsuki, Mizuiro and Keigo are taken care of. He's not been blind, he knows exactly where Karin goes, knows precisely what she brings home and what Goat-face doesn't bother to do. Still, he's only caught a few deliberate glimpses of the man over these long months. He's seen Yoruichi-san a greater number of times.

Or rather, he's seen a black cat lurking around his neighborhood. It could be Yoruichi, it could also be just a cat. Ichigo prefered to think it was Yoruichi.

He doesn't want to know how long it took for Urahara to craft that blade, but he can't help but think of when Rukia said that he knelt before the captains and begged, for Ichigo's sake. That jii-san had agreed and added his own reiatsu.

It's proof they care. Regardless of their actions, or lack of actions, they care.

Before he goes to see Rukia, Renji and all the others, before he goes to Seireitei to speak with jii-san, he goes to Urahara-san.

Goat-face probably laid the same ultimatum at his feet and whatever their history, he knows that Getaboushi has made promises to hold his tongue, to keep Isshin's secrets and as much as that pissed him off, he'll respect it. Urahara probably thought that Isshin would take some kind of responsibility, and he wouldn't keep their entire heritage and whatever was up with their mother a complete secret.

He crosses the boundary line and several presences immediately bloom in his senses. Tessai-san, Ururu, Jinta, and-

Ichigo lands on the porch of the Urahara Shoten in a quiet rustle of cloth and a brief flare of reiatsu as a way to announce his presence.

He stands, waiting patiently, because just this once, he's going to wait to be invited in. An entire minute ticks by before the doors slide open and he already knows it wasn't going to be Getaboushi who opened them. Ururu peers up at him before the ghost of a smile stretches her lips.

Ichigo immediately bends down, giving her an answering smile.

"Hello, Ururu-chan. Can I come in?"

A hint of uncertainty crossed over her face before she pulls back the door all the way.

"Please come in," Ururu says, motioning towards the door that leads to the living quarters.

"Excuse my interruption," Ichigo returns entirely out of habit before he strides farther in, refusing to hesitate when he spots Urahara sitting at the table, a full pot of tea and two cups set across from one another.

"Oi, Getaboushi, what the hell?"

A vague expression of startled confusion briefly touches the edges of his face, before he relaxes and a cheerful smile paints itself on the man's features.

"Whatever are you talking about, Kurosaki-san? I've been here all day-"

"Urahara."

A click of teeth snapping shut. Urahara's hand twitches for his fan before the shinigami forcibly stills himself. Ichigo stares in silence for a moment before heaving a sigh and throwing himself down. The tea is already poured in the cup, although it's slightly cooled off. He took a sip.

Kisuke said nothing.

Ichigo was perfectly okay with waiting. He didn't often show it, but he was capable of patience. Being the surrogate parent for two small twin girls had taught him that if nothing else. He wouldn't be the one that started this conversation.

Eventually, Urahara would give in.

Moments passed in silence, and still Ichigo remained still, and silent, sipping at cooling tea as he waited.

And sure enough-

"I-" Urahara's voice was soft, and cracked a bit as he paused. When he continued, it was steady, each word deliberate and clearly heard. "I owe you an apology, Kurosaki-san."

Ichigo blinked slowly, the only sign of his surprise. He had not expected Urahara to open with that. Later, probably, but not opening with an apology.

"I know-" another pause, a long, deepth inhale, before he resumed. "I know that doesn't really make any of…" Urahara released his tea cup with his off hand, gesturing sharply with it, before he reclased the cup he had been sipping from in the silence. "...this, alright. It doesn't make any of our- my- silence better, or excusable. And I know- I know your father forbid myself, and as I later discovered-" a flash of temper, of anger and protectiveness in sharp eyes "-your friends, from interacting with you. I thought...at first I thought the space would be good for you. A chance to absorb, and reflect on your choices and actions. Not that anything was wrong with what you had done- it was the bravest thing I have ever seen- but just a chance to decide if you wanted anything at all to do with," another gesture this time to the shop and himself "us, with Shinigami and supernatural. I thought it would be good for you to choose, so that anything to do with everything you had lost would not cause you undue stress."

Urahara stared at his tea, before he deliberately set it down, the glass making a harsh clink on the wood.

"And then…." Urahara whispers like a secret, a shame, "I realized you were dying, Kuro- Ichigo. I realized that the separation from your soul, from your very self, was tearing you apart. You were…."

Urahara's eyes snap up, and burn as they meet amber, shining with a fire and a will that refused to be contained. "You were fading, dying a slow death and I could not allow it. I had been working on the sword before, taking time to check on you occasionally, checking in with your friends and making sure they didn't bite off more than they could handle but-"

Kisuke shakes his head, a short, sharp gesture. "You were dying, and it was my fault, and suddenly I had a time limit, and there wasn't enough time- I shut myself in my lab. Dedicated all of my time and focus on this one thing that I could give you- that I could do for you. Hoped, prayed, that I would be quick enough. Thorough enough. I let Yoruichi take over keeping an eye on all of you, and only paused when she came to get me, told me that you- or your friends- needed me."

He breathes for a moment, lowering his eyes and then slipping backwards, sliding sideways, away from the table. He stills there for a moment, motionless, barely even breathing. Then, without hesitation, Urahara Kisuke closes his eyes and lowers himself until his forehead meets the floor, hat and fan absent from where he had set them on the table.

"I am so very, very sorry, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Once before, this man has knelt in front of him and apologized. Ichigo hadn't bothered to turn and acknowledge it, just brushing off his gesture before swiftly changing the subject and breaking the tension in the atmosphere.

This time, he cannot repeat his actions. There is too much between them, too many emotions for this to be brushed off as easily.

So Ichigo keeps calm and observes. He reaches forward, presses a hand to Urahara's shoulder and nudges, pressing until Urahara sits up, slow and hesitant. The man doesn't raise his eyes to meet Ichigo's and Ichigo is silent, as he stares at this man who has taught him everything he knows about the supernatural, about himself, this man who had looked at his suffering and then gone out and created a way to save him where there was none...and he sighs.

"You saved my life," Ichigo begins, his voice just as determined and steady as it had been in the face of a man who had considered himself a god, "So raise your head, Urahara Kisuke. And….thank you."

Ichigo reaches out with his reiatsu, in a way he had thought he would never be able to do again, pressing his gratitude and boundless joy into the man. Kisuke's shoulders shake ever so slightly and while he does lift his head, it's barely enough to meet Ichigo's gaze.

"I...never thought I would be….whole again. Never thought I would have-"

Ichigo cuts himself off, a small pause before, in a moment of stillness and a show of trust, Old Man Zangetsu manifests at his side in a flare of black reiatsu. Kisuke startles back, the motion so small and swift, he almost missed it. But gray eyes are wide now so he continues.

"I never thought," Ichigo repeats solemnly," I would have him, or Shiro again." By his side, Zangetsu bows his head and Ichigo allows himself a tired but heartfelt smile. "Thank you, Kisuke."

Old Man fades back into his mindscape and Ichigo keeps his eyes on Urahara, ignoring the suspicious sheen to his eyes. "You went out, and you did the impossible, and I- I haven't felt this good in months, haven't felt this….alive."

Ichigo reaches out and settles his hands on Kisuke's shoulders.

"I made my choice. I do not regret it. I couldn't. I was the only one who could have stopped him, I know. It was an agony I didn't quite expect, for all I knew what would happen, but- I would protect all of you with everything that I am, every time. I can't bring myself to regret that. I refuse to."

Kisuke blinks rapidly and Ichigo quirks a smile.

"So, now that that's settled, I need to go to Soul Society later tomorrow. Can you set it up for me?"

Startled, Urahara blinked, which Ichigo took as an affirmative and continued with a casual query-

"Also, have you been training Karin?"

There's a pause before something about the shinigami eases and something of his usual personality returns. He sits back on his heels, letting Ichigo's hands fall from his shoulders.

"I attempted to show her how to infuse things with different types of reiatsu, for one," Kisuke says wryly, "But she already knew how to, so I asked if there was anything she wanted to know."

The shopkeeper huffs a laugh.

"Karin-san asked for protections one could stick to walls, windows or doors that would put up a barrier which would keep things out." Kisuke brightens up, his tone and inflections lilting with ausement. "It was an interesting idea and it took me only a couple weeks to put something like that together."

Ichigo rolls his eyes and laughs.

"So that what those were." He doesn't hesitate to explain to Getaboushi's vaguely curious look. "She stuck those under our furniture and behind the pictures and in places only Yuzu would look. I only stumbled across one by accident, but I figured it was something along those lines."

Ichigo smiles, the expression affectionate and soft.

He almost misses the look that washes over Urahara's face. Almost.

He knows what it means. Goat-face is a shinigami, his powers are fully returned. He should be the one who stepped up to protect their household. But as far as Ichigo is aware, he's the only one, besides his friends, who's told Yuzu or Karin anything of importance. Isshin doesn't treat the girls like Ichigo, so no surprise attacks, not moments of any real seriousness.

Karin fully uses that to display her disgust and contempt for the man. It's only grow since she's found out something of the truth. Isshin walks away with bruises.

On his bones.

Ichigo doesn't blame her, but he's been dealing with Goat-face's bullshit for years so he's mostly just tired.

Here though, here is proof that Kisuke disapproves of what Isshin is doing. All the lies and the secrets that he pretends he doesn't have. Those words Ichigo said, that day when Goat-face pushed him off a building in full Shinigami regalia, about how he wasn't going to ask, wasn't going to trample on Isshin's feelings with his questions.

That was a pointed jab that Goat-face entirely missed. That jab that Isshin trampled on Ichigo's feelings, on Karin and Yuzu without them ever knowing because he kept this from them, and just watched as Ichigo struggled and fought for his life. The only people he could turn to, were three other teenagers, two exiled Shinigami, along with Rukia and Renji.

So Ichigo sighed and turns back to his lukewarm tea. He opens his mouth, slowly closing it before he quietly murmured, scarcely loud enough for Kisuke to hear him.

"You've been more of a father to me then Isshin has," Ichigo says, ignoring how Urahara jerks back in shock, sucking in a sharp, startled breath.

Silence falls between the two. He looks up, taking in Kisuke's flabbergasted expression before looks away. He's pretty sure his ears are burning, but...after all this, it's something that needs to be said, something he wants to say.

"Make of that what you will," he continues with a bitter twist to his mouth. "I'm entirely aware that Goat-face hasn't bothered to tell me anything worth a damn, never mind my sisters. Instead of ignoring the entire thing about my continued belief that my mother died because of me, he could have mentioned Grand Fisher. He didn't, but now that I have my power back, I'll be heading to Hueco Mundo to go hunt him down-"

Kisuke's reiatsu wobbles.

Ichigo's head jerks up and around and-

That's fury hardening the lines on Getaboushi's face, and his fists are clenched in his lap and- and-

"Isshin slew Grand Fisher the same day Hirako Shinji approached you regarding your Hollow."

Ichigo's breath hitches. There's a ringing in his ears, and for an instant that stretches like an eternity Ichigo doesn't even breathe. Can't breathe. It's like his lungs are tightening, his throat is closing and there's a lump lodged in the back of his throat. His eyes burn.

Kisuke's eyes widen, and he darts forward, a blur of color, before hands are tightly gripping his shoulders, and then grey eyes are meeting wet, dazed amber. "Ichigo! Breathe!"

And-

And Ichigo can't. He literally cannot make his body inhale, what feels like chains tightening across his chest. Ichigo has never been...the best at reiatsu control, but he's gotten better at it. Especially now, so very aware of what had been missing before.

(:Ichigo, calm yourself, Ichigo-.:)

But here, in this moment, Ichigo has no ability to focus any of his attention on controlling the intensely wild nature of his very soul. His control wavers, and Ichigo can feel those chains on his chest tightening, crushing him why can't he breathe-

Kisuke's eyes widen, and his hands tighten with bruising force on his shoulders, before his reiatsu snaps, his voice turning sharp and commanding in that way that Ichigo had never failed to respond to-

(the kind of voice a father would use on his son, the kind of tone that every child will respond to without a conscious thought)

"Kurosaki Ichigo, breathe."

A gasping, ragged, agonized wheeze of an inhale answers him, and oh, but Kisuke seethes.

Never again.

Never again will Kisuke allow Kurosaki Isshin- Shiba Isshin- to dictate what he is to keep silent on or not, whether he is allowed to see this boy- man- based on stupidity and ignorance. Isshin all but isolated a traumatized child and left him floundering, without answers, without support and pretending nothing was wrong.

Ichigo had claimed him, calling him a father, and this...this is the last straw, the last push Kisuke will allow with any of the Kurosaki children. Karin, who believes protecting the family fell from Ichigo to her. Karin, who struggles but does her best to keep her siblings and Goat-face safe, because Ichigo's not around to do it. Because it's always been Ichigo protecting them.

Kisuke gently tugs the limp and edging towards hyperventilating, form of Ichigo into his chest, wrapping his arms around the teen- god he's still just a teen and so, so young- close and whispering nonsense comfort to the one who has become so dear to him.

"Breathe with me now, come on Ichigo, in and out, easy, come on….in….out…." He places one of Ichigo's fisted hands to his chest, gently uncurling his fingers as he commands, soft but firmly, "Follow my breathing, with me now….in-" Kisuke inhales deeply, tugging on orange hair. "-and out."

He exhales as he says the last word, using the breathing exercises to try and calm his own fury. He wraps his reiatsu around Ichigo, layered with furious, determined protection, with safety, with comfort, with every bloody, deliberate assassin bone in his body, every song of war-death-blood that will stand between this child and the rest of the world from this day forward, until Urahara Kisuke is no more, until his very soul is erased from the face of this earth, even if he had to step in front of the Soul King himself.

Kisuke swore it on Benihime, on his own soul and self, on everything he had ever held precious and good and cherished in this world.

Ichigo takes a shuddering breath, still trembling in Kisuke's hold and bites down the screaming rage that burns in his chest.

"Grand Fisher is dead?"

"It died screaming," Kisuke immediately responds with, cold hard facts delivered without hesitation.

Ichigo is silent.

A moment passes, then another. The body in Kisuke's arm stops shaking and relaxes back. Urahara lets his student go easily enough, even if he keeps his eyes on him.

"I haven't fought with a sword in over a year," Ichigo says abruptly. "Except for last night."

Kisuke only waits, patiently until Ichigo raises his head. When amber eyes blink, cleared of tears, he allows himself a smile. He flicks open his fan, settling his hat on his head and rises to his feet.

"Why, Ichigo-kun, do you think you could knock the hat from my head again?"

A ghost of a feral smirk touches on his face before Ichigo gathers his feet under him and stands.

"I think I could, if I try hard enough."

* * *

Uryuu follows the muted signature of Ichigo's reiatsu. The tide of vast warmth and the tinge of darkness he can feel is achingly familiar and something inside his chest unclenches. It's been barely twenty-four hours since Ichigo's powers have returned and already he finds himself reaching for it, before he even realizes that Ichigo is reaching back.

He only spent weeks without his powers and the overwhelming emotions of anger, frustration, helplesses were constant companions.

Ichigo spent months with a broken soul and no hope of getting his reiatsu back.

Uryuu doesn't know if he would have handled it as well as Kurosaki did, but he would not deny the amount of respect he had for the substitute shinigami.

Still, a little over an hour ago, he had felt Ichigo's reiatsu ripple from it's happy calmness, into something like anger and grief. When he followed the trace of Ichigo's reiatsu, he found himself on Urahara's front porch. Ichigo's reiatsu had shifted during his journey, so he took his time walking instead of jumping from the rooftops and electricity poles as he had been. Ururu didn't hesitate to invite him in and motion towards the entrance to Urahara's underground training area.

There's a teapot and two cups of cold tea on the table and allows himself to linger while Ururu fixes him tea. He doesn't mind waiting until that note of grief in Kurosaki's reiatsu is buried until the glee and the battlelust. It's been about an hour and a half when things begin to settle down.

So he drinks that last of his tea, thanks Ururu and heads for the entrance. When he lands at the bottom, he takes a moment to observe the ending of Ichigo's spar with Urahara.

There's joy on both of their faces, more obviously on Kurosaki's, but it's apparent they're both enjoying themselves. Ichigo is sweating, there are some rips and tears in his shihakusho and there's the barest traces of blood on his face.

Uryuu can't recall seeing him so happy since before the war.

He appreciates it when Ichigo and Urahara wrap up their fight and when the substitute shinigami turns to him with a blinding grin, a hand already raised in greeting.

"Yo, I-Uryuu!"

Ichigo, Ishida doesn't say. Not yet.

But he nods his head and Kurosaki doesn't look frustrated or irritated. He just swings Zangetsu on one shoulder is a move that is so painfully familiar that before he even realizes it, a smile rises to his lips.

Ichigo grins back, a touch of something feral in his expression.

Uryuu shifts his attention to the shinigami.

"Urahara-san," Ishida says, dipping his head shallowly in acknowledgement.

"Ishida-kun. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

The Quincy only make a noncommittal sound of agreement before turning to Ichigo. The substitute looks questioning so Ishida plucks a random thought and voices it.

"Are you planning on explaining things to your sisters?"

Ichigo blinks, once, before his face momentarily clouds over. Uryuu's not entirely sure what he found out, but considering it's probably something to do with his family, he'll leave it be.

"The whole Shinigami thing," He clarifies, getsuring absently to the side, "They came to us after Aizen and demanded answers. We did our best to be both informative and vague. They probably still have questions so if you want…?"

There's a complicated expression on Ichigo's face, before it smoothes over as he takes a quick look at Urahara. His face settles into extremely familiar lines.

(lines that had seen a military society invaded, gods fall, impossible decisions made-)

"Ah. They deserve to know the whole truth."

Ishida doesn't react to that the entire layer of context that Ichigo just put on those last two words. It's none of his business. He still has the promise Ryuuken dragged out of him, in exchange for returning his power, to consider. Still, Ichigo is half human, some odd percentage of Hollow. So he's less Shinigami overall.

Loopholes he can exploit, if necessary. Ishida nods in acceptance of Ichigo's answer and turns to leave. It's safer to only interact with Ichigo around the rest of their human friends. Much less risk for Ryuuken to find fault with something.

"Uryuu."

He stops, shifting his shoulders to look back at Ichigo standing in the artificial sunlight, shinigami robes on his frame.

"Thank you."

Truthfully, Uryuu has so much more to thank Ichigo for then for him to thank Ishida. He smiles, though. Because it's Ichigo.

"You too," he says, before gathering his reiatsu underneath his feet and leaping into the air.

LINEBREAK

When Ichigo arrives home, after picking up his body from Orihime's, he is relieved to find that Isshin is gone, while both Karin and Yuzu were present. He returns their greetings, their bright smiles and dips down to hug Yuzu and ruffles Karin's hair as he passes.

He pauses in front of the dining room table, looking up into the blown up picture of his mother.

Avenged.

After so many years. Finally, she can rest in peace.

The rage rises in his chest and he almost chokes, but he shoves it down. As Ishida- as Uryuu asked. He needs to tell his sisters the truth. All of it.

He pulls out a chair, the one at the head of the table and sits, deliberately.

"Karin, Yuzu, could you two come here?"

Karin steps out from the kitchen, worry on her face.

"Ichi-ni?"

"I have something to tell you," Ichigo says solemnly.

The twins glance at each other, an entire conversation passing in the instant their eyes meet, and then they are striding forward. They join him together at the table, one twin on either side, their eyes worried and focused as they look up at him. Such trust they have in him.

He glances over at Yuzu, so much like their mother. She still calls Isshin 'tou-san'. Still loves him, trusts him, believes in him. He's going to shatter that trust and it's going to hurt, but they deserve the truth.

Ichigo breathes, eyes flashing to the poster of their mother one last time.

Avenged, he thinks again and huffs. He supposed he should start there, start at the beginning, the night when Rukia walked through his wall.

* * *

Ichigo can barely bring himself to explain Isshin's part in all this.

So he just tells the story without him, at first. He waits for Yuzu to comprehend what he's saying, waits for her to realize the entirety of the danger she's been in carefully hidden and all the knowledge kept secret in an effort to protect her.

But she's a Kurosaki and she squares her shoulders and listens.

Karin takes it better, as she's gotten quite a few details from Orihime, Chad and Uryuu. Not to mention Tatsuki. Still, there are things she doesn't know, such as the Seireitei Invasion and the other side of Yuzu's kidnapping from Hell. The Visoreds are explained in depth, including Ichigo's status among them.

He doesn't mention that he hasn't heard or seen Shiro since his powers have returned.

When he begins to wind down, summarizing the return of his reiatsu as a group effort from the Shinigami, he pauses. He can't help that instinctual need to protect his sisters. This information will hurt them. For a moment, he wars with himself.

"Is," Yuzu speaks up, hesitant, concerned, but resolved. "Is that all, Ichi-ni?"

"No," he says, closing his eyes and controlling his breathing. "No, there's- it's about Mom."

He rushes through the entire encounter with Grand Fisher, the first time by Masaki's grave. How it was a Hollow that murdered their mother. That girl Ichigo saw. He didn't block the memory because of trauma. The Hollow moved too fast for his eye to catch. It wasn't his fault.

Karin takes it steadily, the barest glint of tears in her eyes. Yuzu doesn't stifle her sobs and Ichigo reaches over to pull her into his embrace. It doesn't take long before Karin controls herself and Yuzu's tears dry. This time, it's Karin who speaks up.

"There's more, isn't there?"

Slowly, haltingly, Ichigo explains their father is a Shinigami, that Grand Fisher died at his hands over two years ago. That Mom is avenged, that her soul can rest in peace, in Soul Society. He explains to a stone-faced Karin that the reason why Isshin lost his powers probably has something to do with their mother, that he hasn't had any reiatsu until just a couple years ago and how, by now, his power should be completely recovered.

Karin, who stepped up in Ichigo's place. Karin, who keeps in touch with Orihime and Tatsuki concerning the Hollows. Who placed kido tags on them all over their house to prevent Hollows and spiritual beings from getting through. Who has worried herself over protecting her family against what Yuzu couldn't see, all the while, Isshin was fully capable of doing so.

And said nothing.

Karin stands to her feet, shoving her chair back so hard it wobbles and almost falls over, before quietly leaving the room, footsteps echoing through the kitchen and out the door. It slams behind her, a sharp sudden sounds that causes Yuzu to flinch. Ichigo doesn't stop her. He understands her rage and her grief well enough. He takes a breath before focusing his attention to his remaining sister.

Yuzu- Yuzu looks shocked. She turns her gaze to him, eyes swimming in tears, heartbreaking painting itself onto her expression.

"I- I don't understand?"

Ichigo swiftly stands to his feet and reaches for her. She doesn't hesitate to reach back, her hands are clenching in his shirt, fingers shaking and Ichigo presses a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry," he whispers in her hair, rage flickering, buried deep into his soul. "It'll be okay, Yuzu. I'm here, everything will be okay, I promise."

* * *

Yuzu cries herself out. It's late in the afternoon, a bit early to go to bed, but Ichigo suspects he'll have to call in sick for the both of them tomorrow. Either that or drop off a doctor's note at their school. He knows where Goat-face keeps his official paperwork.

He carries his youngest sister upstairs, gently tucking her into the covers and places a hand on her forehead. Her eyes are red and puffy, but she shouldn't get sick from this, so Ichigo tries not to worry. He bends down to softly kiss her goodnight, whispering his love to her before he heads back downstairs.

He reheats some leftovers and settles in for the night. He's tired, but he doesn't think he'll manage sleeping tonight. Ichigo makes sure to text everyone that something came up and he'll probably be in tonight and tomorrow he might not be in school.

Family troubles, he writes, something came up and Karin and Yuzu took it hard.

Everyone replies with concern, asking if he needs help, if there's anything they can do. Ichigo declines and sends a quick good night. He pauses for a second, looking over the text messages before he realizes that Ishida- that Uryuu was the only one who didn't respond.

He puts his phone away and takes a moment to stretch out his senses. It's been a while, but he manages to reach out towards that very Quincy feeling and-

Ichigo's eyes slid shut in concentration, but they flew open and he makes an aggravated, exasperated noise quickly after, before reaching for his combat pass. Or rather, the piece of wood that monitors him, steals his reiatsu and allows his soul to slip from his body. He throws his body on the couch and heads for the front door.

Karin shouldn't be far away, just a block or two so he sweeps his reiatsu out and pings against her presence easily enough. He can feel her startle before her reiatsu signature rapidly begins to move closer. It only takes a minute, before his sister runs up to him.

"There's something going on with Ishida, watch over Yuzu, I'll be back as soon as I can," Ichigo quickly summarizes, pausing a moment to hug her tightly. "I'm proud of you, Karin."

He doesn't linger for her reaction, vanishing in a single step onto the rooftops. It's easy to follow where Uryuu's reiatsu is coming from, easier still to make his way across Karakura. He's a bit more worried, when the high rise building that is the hospital is where Uryuu's reiatsu is coming from.

He's entirely aware that Ryuuken is the same kind of father as Isshin, save for the fact that Uryuu is aware he's a Quincy.

Still, he stops several feet from the building, hanging in the air and taking in Ishida's reiatsu.

He's angry, frustrated and determined. There's a bitterness that's buried somewhere in all that, but Ichigo tries to ignore that. He throws himself forward, flash stepping into an open balcony door and through the halls until he reaches an office with Dr. R. Ishida printed in neat script on it.

There is no hiding his reiatsu, especially in this form, so he waits for Uryuu to open the door. Which is about five seconds after his feet touch the ground. When the door swings back and Ichigo gets a good look at Uryuu, he purposely doesn't comment on his tousled hair and untidy appearance.

Ishida Ryuuken stands impassively behind his desk, dressed in white and pale blue. He looks intimidating, imposing and Ichigo has heard Uryuu's muttered curses towards Ryuuken hiding his Quincy training from his son during the Hueco Mundo invasion.

Ichigo still hasn't forgiven the man for attempted murder, so when the elder Quincy's eyes shift to meet his, he draws on his Hollow reiatsu to give his shinigami-ness a murderous edge and bares his teeth.

"You must be Ryuuken," Ichigo says.

Not Uryuu's father, but exactly what his friend calls him. Granted, they briefly met during that incident in which Ginjo almost cut him in half, but that was just in passing. Regardless, Ichigo dismisses him. Uryuu's told him to be careful when he swings his Black Getsuga Tenshos around, as Hollows, thus Hollow reiatsu, was poison to a Quincy. Considering this isn't a situation where he needs to sling a couple of black Getsugs around, he doesn't think it'll be a problem. Unless Ryuuken makes it one.

"You coming?" Ichigo asks mildly, watching as comprehension washes away that little bit of confusion in Uryuu's expression.

"You said Karin and Yuzu didn't…?"

Uryuu's voice trails off, but Ichigo notices exactly how Ryuuken's attention turns to his son when he mentions Ichigo's sisters. Which, interesting. But, Ichigo's sisters.

"Yuzu's in bed, Karin's watching her," he explains, shifting his body to put his back to Ryuuken and allow Uryuu space to pass him. "I'll explain the rest when we get there."

Ryuuken moves, making as if to insert himself in their conversation, but Ichigo only grips Uryuu's shoulder and uses the shunpo the Goddess of Flash herself trained him in. He vanishes as fast as he's able, there and gone again in less than a blink. Neither of them hear a word Ryuuken said.

He stops about three blocks away several seconds later, releasing Uryuu from his grip.

"You okay?"

Glasses glint in the pale light of the moon and Ichigo only watches as Ishida takes several deep breaths.

"Which one of them do you think is better?" Uryuu asks and Ichigo knows immediately what he means. "The man who didn't keep the secret of my heritage, yet when he shot me in the chest, I honestly thought he killed me, with only frustration and resignation? Or the man who proclaimed his love and showered his affections on all of you, but lied every single day?"

"Why does one of them have to be better?" Ichigo counters, sending Uryuu a look. "They're both fucking bastards and I might end up killing one or the other someday."

Uryuu blinked, taken aback, before realization washed over his face.

"Isshin-?"

"Killed Grand Fisher over two years ago and decided that wasn't something I should have been told."

The venom in Ichigo's tone rings with the undercurrent of Hollow and Uryuu almost flinches away, but it's Kurosaki, so he stays put. He keeps quiet, only looking at his profile in the weak moonlight. Eventually, he continues.

"I told Karin and Yuzu everything. Everything was fine, until I told them what Isshin kept from us."

Silence between the two, a moment in which the wind rustles the trees and windchimes and they stand there, side by side, understanding that hurts that make up their childhood and continue this far into their lives.

"Come on, if you're hungry we have leftovers and Isshin isn't home."

Uryuu makes an agreeing noise and doesn't hesitate to follow after the substitute shinigami, his robes blending into the night sky and Ishida's white clothes standing out.

He huffs a laugh, mirth visible in the curve of his mouth.

"Shinigami."

"Quincy."

Ishida pauses a moment, before he says, quietly, and perhaps tinged with fond exasperation.

"Ichigo."

He can see him smile, then leap ahead, calling back-

"Hurry up, Uryuu!"

* * *

To his surprise, when he walks through the front door, Karin and Yuzu are sitting on the couch, mugs of something hot and steaming cradled in their hands.

Karin stands up first, while Yuzu reaches for the remote, pausing a movie playing on the television. From the sentinet fire with a face, he's going to go with Howl's Moving Castle, one of Yuzu's favorite movies.

"Ichi-ni!"

Ichigo smiles, watching Karin's expression carefully, Her reiatsu is calmer, but he can feel how close her anger is. He suspects she'll take advantage of the fact that Isshin doesn't resist or dodge her fists or feet to beat him then next time he shows his face. Apparently, she can read that line of thinking on his face and a vicious grin stretches her lips.

Ichigo takes a step back, waving a hand at Ishida.

"You know Uryuu? He's staying over tonight," he explains at Yuzu's questioning look behind her sister.

Ishida bows.

"I'm sorry for the interruption, thank you for your hospitality, Kurosaki-san."

Yuzu rushes closer, ever the gracious host, waving her hands back and forth in denial.

"No, no, you're a friend of Ichi-n-sani's and you helped! You're always welcome here!"

Ichigo smiles as Uryuu's cheeks turn the faintest bit of red and outright laughs when Yuzu blinks prettily at him, puzzled by his awkward reaction. He goes to lead the Quincy upstairs, maybe find something for him to change out of his very Quincy themed clothes. He stops though.

Because he's still looking at Yuzu and there's an expression on her face he can't make out as his sisters stares at Uryuu.

"Yuzu?"

She doesn't answer, only steps closer to Ishida, who's beginning to look somewhat concerned.

"Do you…" Yuzu's voice trails off before she repeats her question. "Do you have a silver bracelet with that cross hanging from it?"

Ishida blinks, looking down at the Quincy Cross prominently displayed on the right side of his chest. He lifts up his wrist, allowing the silver charm to shine in the light. Yuzu inhales deeply, rapidly blinking as tears rise in her eyes.

Ichigo has a bad feeling about this.

"Mom had one of those," Yuzu says, impossibly says. "She said it would be mine someday, that Karin would get one too, but when she- when she died, and I asked Dad for it, he said-"

Yuzu pauses as everyone stands in silence before her, in the wake of her words.

"He said to forget about it, and hid it away somewhere. I could never find it, no matter how hard I tried," she explains, tentatively reaching out to gently touch the Cross hanging from Uryuu's bracelet. "There were three of them, in Mom's jewelry box. One for each of us, she said. But I never saw them after- after."

There's a glint of Quincy blue reiatsu that follows Yuzu's fingers when she draws them back. Only a thin strand. Barely enough to be seen. But going from the noise that Uryuu makes, Ichigo's going to assume that all saw it.

Quincy. Their mother was a Quincy.

Uryuu bursts into hysterical laughter. He doubles over, clutching at his stomach and shakes with manic mirth. Ichigo barks out his own laugh because Quincy.

He's human, he's shinigami, he's Hollow, he's Quincy.

Uryuu straightens and smiles at Ichigo, viciously smug and entirely satisfied.

"Do you know what this means?" he asks gleefully, glasses shining.

"We're family, possibly cousins, which means Karin and Yuzu could probably learn how to shoot arrows if they wanted and you don't need an excuse to come over anymore?" Ichigo says dryly, a pleased smile curling his lips.

The malicious edges of Uryuu's expression eases into happiness.

"Yes, it means you're family and I could train your sisters as Quincies if they asked, but also," He continued, returning to vicious satisfaction, "This means that you don't fall under the Shinigami I must stay away from. Because, you're human, Hollow and Quincy. You're family and I can do as I please, while keeping my promise."

Ichigo grins, brilliant and warm.

"Great! Let me just tell the others…"

He pulls out his cellphone and watches as Uryuu blinks, settling into something a bit overwhelmed. He turns to look at Karin, at Yuzu and takes in a sharp breath.

"Family. Family that isn't Ryuuken," he murmurs, eyes traces over the features of the two teenagers.

Karin nodded in agreement from behind Yuzu.

"Family from Mom's side of the tree. Nice to meet you, Uryuu-nii."

Ichigo can easily hear the hitch in the Quincy's breath, but he doesn't comment on it, nor does he switch his focus from the screen of his phone. Ishida is already pulling off his Cross and handing it reverently to Yuzu. He can hear the familiar tones Uryuu uses to teach and he carefully calms himself.

Another one of Isshin's lies. Something else he didn't think necessary to tell them.

He doesn't want to think about his mother.

"Well, I guess Uryuu can watch you two tomorrow," Ichigo interrupts a minute later, snapping his phone closed.

Karin's head jerks around. "What?"

"I've got business in Soul Society. It shouldn't take too long, but I'll be gone for a couple of hours. Uryuu can see if the Cross works with either of you and then we can go looking for Mom's other Crosses."

Ichigo walked over to the couch and retrieved his body.

"In the meantime, I'm going to change and we can finish the movie before bed. Uryuu, I have some clothes you can wear for tonight."

Uryuu hesitated, but he easily followed his new found relation up to his room. Ichigo dug through his closet and presented him with pajamas that looked to be somewhere in his size range.

"Ichigo, your mother-"

"Considering Isshin is a Shinigami," he interrupted quietly, "Considering that Shiba Kukaku bears a startling resemblance to Karin, and Shiba Kaien could be my twin, I can guess that 'Kurosaki' was Mom's maiden name. I would also bet that Ryuuken is entirely aware of our relations. He and Mom likely knew one another, if they weren't outright related. I can imagine that Isshin is familiar with Ryuuken, at the very least."

Uryuu closed his eyes, struggling with himself. It took a moment for him to pull his emotions together, under some semblance of control. Ichigo waited patiently before continuing, struggling to reign in his own reaction.

"Leave it for tonight. I have someone in Soul Society I can ask about Isshin. I'll only be gone a couple hours so we can deal with this tomorrow."

Ishida nodded, choosing not to speak, before retreating to the bathroom to change. When he was finished, he headed downstairs to watch a movie with his new found relations. He was quietly happy for this chance meeting, for Yuzu recognizing a Quincy's Cross.

This was the one thing that ensured his promise to stay away from Shinigami would never apply to Ichigo.

The Kurosakis', with the exception of Isshin, were people he was proud to call family.

* * *

Group Chat  
In the Know  
(seven members)

Ichigo:

As it turns out, Goat-face killed Grand Fisher over two years ago. And my mother was a Quincy. Apparently Uryuu and I are related.  
btw, going to SS tomorrow to talk to Jii-san, so I'll be out of contact for a couple hours.

Tatsuki:  
wtf, ichigo?

Orihime:  
Congratulations, Ichigo-kun! Uryuu-kun!

Chad: Seen 1:17 am

* * *

In Urahara's basement, Ichigo stepped out of his human body and breathed deep. He appreciated the deeply pleased expression that was just barely visible under Kisuke's customary hat. He had decided against informing the man of his new found information concerning his mother. Regardless, he gave his own thanks before Urahara powered up the gateway.

He didn't hesitate to break into a sprint and he vanished through the archway, Kisuke's cheerful farewells falling silent behind him.

Ichigo wasn't surprised when the Dangai's walls began to writhe and contract and the faint light of the Kototsu began to shine through the darkness. Truly, he wasn't surprised. Almost two years since Aizen destroyed it, and somehow it magically reconstructed itself and today was that day. In all of the times he had travelled to Soul Society, he ended up running from the Kototsu more often than not. He couldn't help the annoyance that welled up or the irritated noise that escaped gritted teeth, but he increased his speed with a burst of reiatsu.

However, that turned out to be a mistake.

The walls sprouted arms and reached-

Vicious and harsh curses filled his head as his Hollow's mask materialized over his face and in the silence before impact, Ichigo couldn't help the surge of confusion. Since Rukia returned his powers, his Hollow had been eerily silent, absent from his inner world and a part of him continued to mourn the loss, even if he could still draw on the Hollow reiatsu. Zangetsu was increasingly cryptic and… guilty was a word that came to mind.

Regretful was another.

Ichigo wasn't entirely sure how to address that. He hadn't had the time considering things with Isshin and his Mom.

Still, at the proof that his Hollow had been returned with all of his power, Ichigo felt something inside him relax. But he had only a moment for relief before his sword was pulled almost entirely out of his grip and the appendages that shot through the opening with a ring of reiatsu were aiming at vulnerable spots. He yelled, pulling as much reiatsu as he could in an effort to dodge-

Space contorted and darkness enclosed over his vision as his reiatsu spiraled out of his body in a flood and away-

Shit! Aibo-!


	3. Chapter 3

**On the Fourth Day of Christmas My Favorite Authors Gave to Me:**

 **Four Hollows screaming!**

* * *

The voice of his Hollow rings in his ears and despite the pain Ichigo cannot help the wave of relief that fills him as the fluent swearing in dual tones continues steadily. Not once since he regained his powers has his pale double appeared before him, or even spoken to let him know that he still existed. Regardless of anything, he was still a part of Ichigo's soul. Still a part of him.

Tensa Zangetsu was the combined form of his Hollow and of Zangetsu-ossan, and their wish was to protect Ichigo .

He didn't forget, not in all the past months, not in the silence and the empty places that hurt , he remembered those words and the tears that slid down his zanpakuto's face.

Some tears away from him- or is it Ichigo that's torn away from something?

He doesn't know and the screams crawling up his throat are getting harder to swallow as pain rattles his bones. He can feel the sharp rise of Zangestu's presence, of his Hollow, even as his own is sucked away in a way that reminds him entirely too much of that moment when he collapsed after- after Aizen.

Zangetsu, Ichigo manages to focus on, reaching out, where is my sword?

: Aibo, you need ta- Old Man! Shit, ICHIGO!:

Ichigo can't breath as something encases his head. The pain is scattering his thoughts, but still he reaches out, desperately searching for his sword.

Zangetsu, Zangetsu-!

A familiar hilt smacks into his palm, just as the Old Man grunts, roughly, as if injured and Shiro screams defiance as whatever is surrounding Ichigo tightens - he can't breath-

It's darkness and consuming, there is no sense of direction or anything beyond the rattle in his bones, the voices in his head and he's- it's fading-

Reiatsu swells, some massive rush of power, forgien and familiar and then-

Snap.

Something gives way and Ichigo is gone.

* * *

Far away, in a room filled with equipment, an alarm shrieks a warning and people scatter, demanding answers and it's already too late by the time Seireitei confirms what happened in the dimension between.

Kurosutchi Mayuri is the first to know.

Urahara Kisuke the second.

Kurosaki Ichigo never makes it to Soul Society.

* * *

Ichigo is unconscious when the tides recede, when whatever had trapped him, eased and then pulled back entirely, allowing his body body to crumple to the heaving floor.

He lies there only for a moment, before the walls around him contract and one particular section splits open, light shining out. Again, the space in between contracts. The body on the floor, however, twitches, tenses and then coughs weakly.

: Aibo, Ichigo, get up, get up, KING, MOVE! :

His Hollow is still screaming at the edges of his consciousness, the Old Man is still a steady presence curled around him and everything two steps to the left and foggy. Ichigo doesn't know where he is. He has no idea what just happened, only that everything hurts and that only light he can see is from and open door and his Hollow is screaming in his head.

The floor is moving, twisting and writhing, and yeah, okay, Ichigo's getting up. It hurts, but he ignores that and manages to gather his legs underneath him and pushes himself up. He stumbles and there's nothing to catching himself on, nothing but the sword that materializes in his hands.

"Z-Zan-ge-tsu?"

It's different, in his hand. He can't quiet- his vision waves and he throws out his arm, reaching for the wall or something-

Another hilt in his palm, another blade that sinks into the fleshy walls of the Dangai. Ichigo pauses, because that's not? That's not right?

: Ichigo,: Zangetsu murmurs in his ear, a steady weight behind him. : Ichigo, you need to leave this place. Just walk forward, to the door. :

Ichigo blinks, a breathes, wincing when his ribs protest. He pulls the much smaller blade from the wall and begins to stumble forward, gritting his teeth against the way his entire body objects, rather strongly. He doesn't care, he's got legs, he's gonna use'em and get out.

Walk, Ichigo demands of his body.

Forward, the Hollow shouts and snarls.

Steady, just a little farther, the Old Man murmurs, soft and steely.

Time blurs together and were it not for the steady stream of words, of encouragement and belief, later, Ichigo doesn't think he would make it. But in the moment, where everything is vague and empty, he just keeps walking forward until he falls through the light from the open door.

Air instantly shrieks, as he pluments into a freefall, loosely curled into a ball. It's too bright, too loud, and Ichigo fades out as Shiro surges forward, a mask forming around his head. Sky, mountains, buildings, walls, reiatsu, everything and nothing, familiar and foreign, names, and faces and Ichigo couldn't think.

He stops falling. Judging by the pain that briefly whites out his already spotty vision, he going to go with the ground.

Dust, dirt and the sharp smell of wood.

Pain, more pain and he was still trying to breath.

When Ichigo coughed, he felt the familiar taste of iron slip from his lips. He inwardly cursed, both at his injuries and at the weak voices he couldn't make out. He shouldn't have let his guard down, just because Ginjo and Xcution was dealt with. The Dangai was always dangerous. He shouldn't have forgotten that.

Movement. A barely there shape, dark against the light.

A brush of reiatsu and something moved in his vision- colors he could make out- gray and purple. Ichigo pried his eyes farther open, catching a glimpse of a familiar face.

"Jii-chan," Ichigo breathes the title with relief.

Yamamoto Genryuusai placed a gentle hand on his face, fingers sliding carefully through his matted hair and Ichigo leans into it, allowing the darkness to temporairly overtake his vision.

The voices got louder, a sharp burst of reiatsu and Ichigo drags his eyes open again, fighting against the almost unbearable ache in his head.

It's...

Oh, that's right. He's in Seireitei, he made it through the Dangai and Yama-jii's here, so everything's okay.

There's a murmur in the back of his soul, too faint to make it out and suddenly Ichigo is stuck with a crippling fear. His Hollow and the Old Man, surely they're all right? Everyone... everyone contributed to bring his reiatsu back, he can trust them to make sure they're okay, right? That they haven't faded, that they'll still be here when he wakes up. Surely, they know, right? That he would come back?

Ichigo reaches out and grabs for Yama-jii, missing his arm entirely and ends up holding onto his sleeve. He tugs, deliberately, and when his eyes focus a little more, he doesn't...it's not...?

It's his reiatsu. He can't mistake that, especially one that's spread inside his own reiatsu. He pulls on the edges of Yama-jii's reiatsu, letting it waiver in the air around them.

It's the same, but not. It's him, but not.

Black hair, wide open eyes, skin unlined with age, even if he can still see the distinct scars on Yama-jii's head. It doesn't...why-

"Yama-ji, why….you're not old?"

Did Orihime do something? Was..?

Ichigo was so confused, but Yama-jii was asking for the date, which he gave easily enough, even though the darkness was tugging him back as new pain began to radiate from more places. He didn't understand, but it was still Yama-jii. He could still feel familiar reiatsu in the background.

But why...?

Ichigo's eyes closed and his thoughts quieted as he lost his grasp on the waking world.

* * *

In the middle of a mansion's courtyard, the unidentified object that the Dangai spat out impacted with a massive flare of Hollow reiatsu. Emergency Response Squads were instantly dispatched to the site, but considering who the grounds belonged to, they were not concerned about the safety of the lord of the mansion. Still, they dutifully followed protocol and procedure.

The lord of the mansion in question, was making his way to his now ruined courtyard, his sword firmly in his hand. When he slid open the final door and stepped out onto the walkway, he pulsed his reiatsu to clear the cloud of dust resulting from the impact. He pauses, momentarily, at the bright splash of color, against the pale sand and broken tree branches.

Carefully, he made his way to the sprawling form of a person, clad in the familiar uniform of a Shinigami's shihakusho. The lord stood above the prone body for a moment, waiting to see if the person would move. When they did not, he knelt down, hand easing back the person's shoulders to lay flat on the ground. At the revealed face of the intruder, the lord once more paused.

It was a boy, barely on the cusp of being a man. There were the faintest traces of childhood still clinging to an otherwise thin face. His body was built for strength and the lord could clearly see traces of scars through the rips in the fabric of his clothes. Gently, he pressed down on the boy's chest, looking up sharply when the action prompted a hitching moan.

Brown eyes, hazy with pain fluttered open and stared into the lord's face, blank with incomprehension, before relief recognition filled them.

Such a reaction, the lord thought to himself curiously. But then, the boy spoke, just a single word.

" Jii-chan… "

The lord pauses just a moment before he placed his hand against the boy's battered face, slowy easing his fingers through bright orange hair, tugging this way and that to see the damage done, wondering if the motions would cause the boy to return to unconscious once more, as obviously pain began to whiten his face.

The boy did not pass out, instead he lifted a hand, reaching out to tangle his fingers in the lord's sleeves, much like a child would do to a parent. His eyebrows instantly raised, wondering at the overly familiar response from an entirely unknown boy. Although, he would forgive him for that, considering the bruises on his face and the blood matting his bright orange hair. Such confusion would not be out of place, or would it be uncommon for the boy to mistake him for someone else.

Perhaps the boy was seeing his grandfather? Although such a mistake, the lord inwardly scoffed, because his hair was still black and nothing about him looked like a grandfather, honestly kids these days.

But then, confusion scrunched the boy's face and weakly tugging at his sleeve, he spoke once more, voice hoarse and cracking but still entirely audible.

"Yama-ji, why….you're not old?"

Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto stared down at the young man who exited the Dangai in an entirely dramatic manner and crashed right into his courtyard. He leaned down, and spoke quietly, but clearly, posing a simple question to the injured man, even as a single Response Squad finally made their way towards them.

The boy spoke through the haze of confusion and named a date several centuries in the future, the effort seemingly too much for him and he slipped back into unconsciousness.

Well now, Yamamoto thought to himself as he gazed up at the sky. Such an event is entirely possible, yet highly unlikely.

A wide, almost feral smile stretched across his face.

Such a thing of my blood, does not surprise me.

"What should we do with him? He is obviously the source of the Hollow reiatsu-"

Genryusai cut his gaze sharply to the Shinigami who had spoken. The sudden but pointed rise of his reiatsu ensure the Shinigami's attention was instantly given to him.

"This boy," said the Soutaicho of the Gotei 13, with all the weight of his authority, "Is to be placed in my home, until such a time that his injuries are healed. Any information pertaining to him, his appearance, identify and arrival are strictly on a need-to-know basis."

"Sir!"

Agreement, immediate and expected, Genryusai nodded sharply, bending down, before pausing and shifting his gaze to the medic of the group.

"Is he safe to be moved?" He inquired, gaze harsh on the medic, demanding an answer before he took action.

The woman paused a moment, the kido at her hands surging briefly before returning to the steady output.

"It will be a minute more before I would be comfortable doing so, Yamamoto-soutaicho. However," the medic lifted her chin, scarcely meeting his eyes before dropping it down to her patient once more.

"However…?"

"His zanpakuto should be nearby. If you are connected to him in any way, it would be wise to retrieve them."

Genryusai stood to his feet, a sharp nod of agreement his only response as he headed to the part of his once immaculate garden where the initial impact was. Where the most damage occurred.

There were flattened plants, broken tree limbs and even the rocks surrounding the koi pond where now fewer in number. Luckily, the koi appeared to have survived, even if part of their home had now. Also, his favorite sakura tree, sitting in the small island created by the koi pond and the stream that ran through his estate.

The bridge to connect the two, was less lucky.

Yet, in the shattered remains, he could see a large blade. Bending down, he carefully and slowly wrapped his fingers around the hilt.

No response.

Neither hostile or welcoming, yet he could tell the spirit was present and aware of his intrusion. Genryusai straightened, intending to return swiftly to the boy's side and he had barely taken a step to that effort before there was a sharp pulse of emotion that sent tingles up his arm.

There was no voice, no weeping or wailing, screaming or profanity, yet nonetheless he still found his eyes drawn to one particular corner of the water. Something glinted in its depths. Once more, he bent down, reaching past the lotus pads and found yet another hilt meeting his palm.

Balanced perfectly in the air, Yamamoto stared stoically at the two blades in his hands, each black as night, with accents of pure white.

A smile curved his lips.

Amusement, pride, and already a grudging fondness welled in his chest.

Should the boy deny all relation to me, Genryusai thinks to himself in delight, I don't think I would believe him .

Tucking the blades into his obi, Yamamoto raises a hand to summon a butterfly, ensuring a message is sent to the two youngest members of his family. Perhaps one of them would be able to shed some light on this situation. Even if there was one explanation, already provided and currently looking more likely, this information needed to be verified and confirmed.

The unnamed boy should be at least a few centuries old, perhaps not quite old enough to exist in this time, should his initial response on the date prove to be intentional and not a result of his head injury, his sons would shine some light on the situation regardless.

After all, twin zanpakuto ran in his family. His sons were the only two who possessed them and an unknown intruder falling from the Dangai wielding the only other pair?

Genryusai did not believe in such _coincidence._

: Only time will tell,; Ryuujin Jakka rumbled sleepily from his place curled around Yamamoto's soul, his mirth sending warmth bursting outwards.

The soutaicho laughed, amused and pleased at his zanpakuto's reaction.

It would indeed, there is no doubt about that.


	4. Chapter 4

Ichigo wakes slowly.

Or rather, consciousness returns, but he's still unable to move, to wake, reach out and _be_ in the waking world.

Murmurs of voices, bright lights slowly swallowed whole by darkness, pricks of pain and the familiar bursts of healing kido over his wounds. Someone stands next to him, reiatsu curling in the spaces between and it _hums_ achingly familiar around them, resonating with a large part of him. His awareness is there for a moment, just enough to call for _Yama-jii_ , the words scarcely leaving his lips before he faded again. He doesn't feel the reassuring hand the rests against his cheek.

He's not aware of the pointed look a man in his prime gives to a beautiful woman, one of pride, fierce joy and _I-told-you-so_. He doesn't feel her edge of reiatsu sharpen against the man's, brilliant and lethal against the fires of his own aura.

Instead, Ichigo sleeps and dreams and wanders the corners of his soul, searching for what's changed, what's different and it's difficult because he can hear the echoes and the surge of reiatsu and it's _so loud._ But he continues, searches and falls into the darkness, in the depths of the sea.

He's tugged between the waking world and the world of his soul, as the sea empties into the sky and glass and steel glitter in the midday sun. Clouds cast long shadows of shade, cool grass beneath his hands and the bark of a tree solid against his back. A small garden, on the top of a skyscraper, gravity normal only in this spot.

Ichigo stands, stumbles to his knees and presses his face into the ground. _Too loud, too much, not enough-_

Hands on his shoulders, a presence blooming around him, muffling the _noise_ and he raises his head-

The Old Man kneels in front of him, shame on his face and something like regret in the corners of his mouth. His eyes are slow and proud as he _looks_ at him, at his wielder who barely hesitated before sacrificing him and _oh,_ Ichigo _aches_ with the ash of this painful memory of _loss_ heavy on his tongue _._ A small turn of Zangetsu's head, a shift of his gaze and Ichigo allows his eyes to slide around the mane of dark hair. His Hollow stands tall, back straight shoulders squared, their sword in his hand.

Only it isn't what he remembers.

It isn't his _sword._

Two hands, fingers wrapped around two hilts, braced, ready for a fight. Something like despair and desperate anger contorts the all too similar edges of his expression. But more prominent is the triumph that's painted all across his face and defiance shaking the air around him. There are words, his Hollow spits, white teeth bared against black lips, golden eyes narrowed and glinted with each motion he makes.

Ichigo curls into Zangetsu, eyes slipping shut as wetness drips down his face.

 _He's okay. He's_ here. _He didn't leave me._

The Hollow abruptly stops. Freezes like someone pressed the pause button and Ichigo barely catches a glimpse of the way his Hollow tenses and draws himself up so tight he resembles stone more than a living being.

A step, a blink and suddenly Ichigo is entirely aware that his Hollow is crouched in front of him. He's not afraid, simply relieved. Yet, he's still wrapped in a possessive grip by the Old Man, whose grip doesn't loosen even when the other moves closer. His Hollow was part of Tensa Zangetsu too. His Hollow wanted to protect him, Ichigo knows that with every part of his soul and unafraid, he reaches out to grab his wrist. There's surprise and wariness on the other's face, but he ignores that and tugs his Hollow in farther, pulling even though his limbs feel like lead and everything is so distant.

He's tense when Ichigo brings him into the space he and the Old Man are sharing, when they're tucked in close, present and _there._ Tense muscles, eyes blow wide and teeth almost hesitantly bared, but it's been almost _two years_ of silence and an entire extra day since he's had his reiatsu back, and Ichigo doesn't care. What is the Hollow in front of him but all he's ever tried to hide and what is the man behind him, but everything he ever wanted?

He slots the boy against him like one of his sisters, never mind the height, head resting on his shoulder, pressed against his neck and he's never had to hide from them. Only discover truths he's long forgotten or buried too deep to remember.

" _Mine,"_ Ichigo whispers against white hair, his lips brushing pale skin and doesn't notice when the blades in his double's hand dissipates into wisps of black reiatsu to settle once more with his soul.

Ichigo _rests_ and drifts off, satisfied with having found what he was looking for.

* * *

Genryuusai cannot help the way he paces in the room provided for the boy- whose name he _doesn't know-_ but who is without a doubt _his._ Retsu stands over him, talking quietly, recording his injuries, of which there are _many_ , and when she pauses, gaining his attention rather quickly, she raises her voice ever so slightly to say,

"Reiatsu detected in his system that matches with Yamamato Genryuusai's record, recently administered, no less than one day, no more than three. Scans show that his reiatsu was heavily damaged and due to the reiatsu added to his soul, is now in the stages of healing. Such an undertaking is similar to a proposed medical procedure in which close relations are able to share reiatsu to help with damage not excluding trauma, exhaustion and other ailments of the soul."

Retsu pauses, the faintest hints of curiosity furrowing her brow as she delicately _plucks_ at the boy's reiatsu.

"Further exploration reveals similarity to documented structured forms of Shiba zanpakuto's, along with forms of at least three, no more than seven of unknown structures. These structures are blended in with the Shiba aspects perfectly, suggesting genetic inheritance rather then simply manually enforced structures."

Genryuusai blinked.

 _Shiba?_

Retsu paused a moment, a quiet triumph stealing over her face before she announced another discovery.

"There are solid structures identified as Shihoin, just a small section, but present and strong. Let it be recorded that it was trained and imparted rather than inherited."

Surprise at the fact that such a high and often distant noble clan would have their marks in a young child by all accounts a member of the Shiba.

Two out of Five Noble Clans of Seireitei, each a force to be reckoned with before there _was_ a Seiretei for clans to claim, each with long histories stretching back and proof they would continue forward for quite some time.

 _Still,_ Genryuusai mused as he took in the boy's features, _he did bear a greater resemblance to the Shiba, even if neither I nor Retsu could recognize any of the other traits he carried, he is full of potential._

A wry grin curved his mouth.

 _Trust the Shiba to do what they pleased and end up with a child of my clan who survived the Dangai's worst side effect. And for the Shihouin to sneak in a claim of their own. Who knew what surprises this boy would bring!_

The Soutaicho flared his reiatsu and instantly a subordinate was at his side.

"Sir."

"Inform my sons that I require their presence."

"Sir."

Sakakibe Chojiro was a loyal and devoted assistant and Genryuusai would trust him with this, without question. The boy's existence was kept tightly under wraps for the moment.

Perhaps this boy was one of theirs? A daughter who married in or out, a son who fell for a wandering woman only to find out she was a Shiba.

Yet, as Genryuusai traced over the frankly, _concerning_ scars he could see on tanned skin, he couldn't help but wonder if there was a darker side of his descedant's story. He counted at least _three_ that looked _lethal._ A scattering of some that were worrying in their placement and age.

The instinctive trust the boy placed in him despite what was obviously two different appearances compared to the 'Yama-jii' that the boy knew and who he was today was telling in several ways.

One in that such instances occurred to him that would cause him to age. Trauma, suffering, grief, heartbreak and even a massive amount of reiatsu spent, to an alarming degree, all these caused a Shinigami's features to crease, crack and line.

As such, he was just barely entering his first millennia and Retsu was the only other who was even close to his age. Sometimes he suspected she was older and she still looked younger than he did.

Genryuusai sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face.

Whatever tragedies would he face and whatever suffering would shape him into the man that this boy would call 'jii-chan' in such tones of relief and affection, at least he would meet this child at the end of them.

* * *

A harsh breath and burning amber eyes lift and stare over the exhausted and injured form of their host with blazing, _righteous_ anger, and a thousand other emotions, all wrapped up in a silent but emphatic statement of fact, punctuated with a soundless snarl.

 _I will defy you, should you take me from him again._

The piece of Yhwach, of the Quincy part of Ichigo's soul, sighs, deeply and heavily before nodding once, ever so slightly, conceding for once, without a fight. A dark gaze settles, weighted with emotions, on the true form of their wielder's zanpakuto and he speaks deliberately, each word falling with precision, an explanation, a reason and something like an apology folded in his tone.

"He is my child," says Old Man Zangetsu, declares Yhwach, pleads this manifestation of an ancient being's power and a boy's need.

" _I am him!_ " The Hollow, all the things Ichigo buries about himself, all his rage and guilt, all the darker parts of him screams, no louder than a whisper, spat desperately in the face of the other's _excuse._ "Didn't _I_ need you?"

Zangetsu, Yhwach says nothing, only closes his eyes and grips his child a little tighter, neither refuting or accepting the confession. Instead, he speaks a truth he never thought he would ever come to regret.

"I did not care for the needs of a Hollow."

Aforementioned Hollow does not flinch. Rather, he makes a noise, a sharp wordless exclamation of _anger._

"A _Hollow?_ Is that _all_ I am? Where is my heart? The hole that it made when it _left?"_

The Hollow has no hole, no gaping lack of a heart and Yhwach does not speak. He is but a piece, now entirely separate and no longer who he was, but he is still _Quincy_. What is a Hollow to a Quincy but an enemy to be destroyed?

A pause, a breath and the words the Hollow who isn't quite a _Hollow_ fall like stones on Zangetsu who isn't _Zangetsu's_ head.

"What did he bury in his heart that grew to be _me?_ What _suffering_ did he deny with every hand Isshin ever laid on us? What did he shove down so deep that it fed me when I was _nothing?"_

The man says nothing. Only looks at what he has done, his actions against the one he wished only to protect. The Hollow isn't one for mercy, isn't going to hesitate to go for the throat and he _does._

"His betrayal!" He shouts, fury in his voice, the echoing tones of the being that almost consumed his mother, that Isshin's sacrificed sealed, until it manifest _here_ , "At the father who abandoned him when his mother died! Who blamed him and ignored him and _left him!_ His fury and rage as that same man lied and kept secrets and hurt him and hurt him and _hurt him_ and _kept doing it!_ The _anguish_ at the death of _his mother!_ He placed the blame at his own feet and the guilt and the _hate,_ that's all _**mine!**_ "

There are two swords in the pale boy's hands, dripping with red and black as Hollow reiatsu swells. His voice drops to a hiss.

"The love he has for fighting until there's blood and bruises and his thoughts are consumed by the instinct that controls his body! That love he hid along with the jealousy that came every time he saw children with _parents_ that _were responsible the same way he was!_ The same way he _had_ to be, because his sisters _didn't understand,_ and if _he_ didn't step up, _**no one else would!**_ "

The Hollow, grips the empty shell that was the manifestation of Ichigo's presence, held solidly in this place solely by their desires, and _wrenches_ it away.

Yhwach makes a noise, lunges to take him _back_ , but the Hollow _shrieks_ and it shattered into glitter and power.

" _ **You stole my name!**_ "

The howl shakes the tree, rattles the windows and a tear slides down the twisted planes of the Hollow's furious expression. He stands, in the small space of nature and shakes, trembling and grits his teeth.

" _My_ _ **name,**_ " he whispers, anguished and turns _away_ -

Yhwach reaches out, regret, shame layering his reiatsu, words on his lips, but-

The pale boy vanishes into the darkness in which the Quincy kept him suppressed and silent. But this is no doing of the Quincy and he cannot call him back. In the silence, Yhwach closes his eyes and _regrets_.

What Ichigo needed, that moment Kuchiki Rukia shoved her zanpakuto through his soul, was a father who _cared._ Who didn't lie to him, who didn't blame him, who honestly taught him and who was so proud of him he would never doubt it.

Yhwach betrayed that trust barely seconds after Ichigo manifest his shihakusho.

It was out of his desire to protect his descendant, to keep Ichigo _safe,_ yet because of his actions, or rather lack of action, Ichigo suffered.

Wasn't strong enough, didn't make it in time and _lost them_.

Zangetsu was justified in his anger. Even his name didn't fit anymore, Yhwach had changed it too much.

He sighed heavily.

Such a time would come...when Ichigo would discover the truth.

Would look, and see the twisted mirror of a situation already past.

He doubted the rain would cease for a very long time.

* * *

When he wakes, it's to pain, yes, but pain that is familiar and easily ignored. Too an extent. He forcefully blinks open heavy eyes and takes in what little of his surroundings as he can.

Wood ceiling. Paper doors, paintings, random calligraphy words hanging on the wall- _Strength, Honor, Resolve_

What, is he at the Kuchiki Mansion?

Unohana-san, sitting by his bedside, Jii-chan - but not? Younger? - standing over her, a bundle of paper in his hands. Ichigo blinks, slowly, deliberately and waits for the world to begin to make sense again.

Unohana-san he could understand, but she's not wearing her captain's haori and as much as he respects Yama-jii, as much as jii-chan understands him- and as much as he apparently cares about him, going by the reiatsu that he can _still feel_ \- he's not really the stand-by-your-besides kind of person.

Combined with the fact that he looks decades- err, _centuries_ \- younger, none of it is adding up.

A part of Ichigo, one that is tired, in pain, upset and entirely fed up with this _bullshit_ , wants to roll over and go back to sleep. The other part, the one that survived, and even thrived in a war he absolutely had no business being involved in, is concerned, alarmed even, by the things that are not adding up, by the way he is having difficulty drawing up his later memory and that is what prompts Ichigo to sit up.

 _Ow, oW,_ _ **OW PAIN.**_

Practice has taught him to push through that so he does and even though his ears are ringing and his vision is mixing with bright flashes of white and the crawling black around the edges, he stares into the center of the presence closest to him.

"-ldn't have moved so _abruptly_ , your injuries-"

"Unohana-san," Ichigo rasps, the words scraping his throat enough that he ends up doubling over into a coughing fit.

 _painpAIN_ _ **PAIN**_

Definitely broke his ribs. Punctured his lungs going by the very clear feeling of iron bubbling up in his mouth before a rush of healing kido brushes it away. Ichigo looks up.

It's jii-ch- well, it's Jii-chan's younger lookalike that hands him a glass of water and Ichigo doesn't hesitate to carefully swallow it down, washing out the lingering taste of blood in the back of his throat. Still, he's careful when he pulls back and slowly hands the glass back.

Neither say anything, but the edge of _disapproval_ radiating from Unohana-san is terrifying which proves that one, something weird happened but it's still her, he made it to Seireitei safely, or this is something like Aizen's illusions, a very elaborate dream….or…

Ichigo's run out of ideas and he can see the sharp breath maybe-Jii-chan draws in, that one that people usually do before they start speaking. So he speaks first.

"Last thing I remember is something happening to me in the Dangai."

Unohana-san blinks, just once, her gentle smile never leaving her face the menacing cast to her face eases a little. Maybe-Jii-san crossed his arms and _looks._ That's definitely irritation on his face. Maybe-Jii-chan isn't as stone cold intense as the Yama-jii he knows is.

" _Boy_ -"

What fifteen year old cares about authority? The Captain Commander of an Army of _Soul Reapers_ , the man with the _strongest destructive zanpakuto,_ Ichigo didn't care about his power, only what he was doing with it- which was enforcing _stupid_ decisions and years later, after saving all their lives, and Ichigo will admit to liking and respecting the Soutaicho. He'll admit he's so deeply grateful to Yama-jii after he _gave his own reiatsu_ to restore his, but that doesn't mean he's gonna turn into some suck up.

He's not even sure this is _real._ Even if he can feel the resonating _pulse_ of _his_ piece of Yama-jii's reiatsu in the man standing not three feet away, things are not adding up. He's just confused at this point and being stubborn about it, yeah, but he's injured and stumbled into _more_ trouble. Alone.

"Jii-chan's lost a few centuries of age and this isn't the Fourth Division or the Kuchiki Manor, I don't sense Rukia or Renji, or anyone I know save for you two. This isn't one of Kisuke's places or Yourichi's or Kukaku's and _none_ of this is- oh."

Ichigo interrupts himself as his senses kick in and he blinks, his breath stuttering as he focuses past Unohana-san and Jii-chan.

"This...this isn't…?"

He can hear the confusion in his own tone, but what he's feeling isn't right.

Ukitaki-san and Kyoraku-san's reiatsu is completely different. They're nearby and he's familiar with both enough to pick them out of a crowd of reiatsu. They're raw, emotions churning wildly throughout their being, one, granted, calmer than the other, but nothing like the deep waters of Ukitake's normal presence and _absolutely_ nothing like the playful shadows of Kyoraku's.

"I asked for the date," Jii-chan says, cutting into Ichigo's building realization, his voice not quite the calm, gravel tones that he's accustomed to.

Ichigo blinks, rebelling against the comprehension that's dawning on him, even as horror rises in his chest. Forcefully, he swallows down the panic, the involuntary _plea_ of ' _no, not again',_ because he wanted to _end_ all this, wanted his _life_ back, and Ichigo makes himself _look._

The scorching flame of a burning soul, _Ryuuji Jakka,_ piercing stare, black hair, an aura of power and something like a smile tugging at the corners of the man's mouth.

He speaks the last date he remembers, day, month, year.

Yamamato Genryuusai repeats the date, same day, same month, _different year._

Ichigo sways where he sits, a sick pit of dread in his stomach, as he stares, unblinking and blank, at the head captain.

"... _oh_ ," he whispers, soft and so horrified he sounds bland and steady.

"Oh, _no_."


End file.
